


Bullseye

by BeezandBitches



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/F, Knife Throwing, War is a show off and we love her, tumblr ask
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23269018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeezandBitches/pseuds/BeezandBitches
Summary: A tumblr ask from imconcernedabouttheoregano “What if the reader tries to teach war about a weapon and how to use it, without knowing who/what she is. And war goes along with it before eventually just showing off and correcting the reader on their teaching.”
Relationships: War/Reader (Good Omens), War/You (Good Omens)
Kudos: 9





	Bullseye

“Carmine, c’mere!” You call from the other room.

You and your girlfriend Carmine Zuigiber, better known by her colleagues and not by you as War, had been having a movie night- Legally Blonde, her choice- when your Amazon package had been delivered. To which you quickly paused the movie and ran to the door because you had been waiting for this package for what felt like _forever_ but what really was about two business days.

You ordered a throwing dagger, about 9 inches long and very fancy, as it was even engraved. You had taken a couple knife throwing classes a few summers back and thought to yourself ‘screw it’ before ordering a new knife. It was very pretty, and you were more than excited to show off your skills.

Now, your girlfriend was also very good with weaponry. She was War afterall. Not that you knew that, of course. You had been together a little under a year, and War wasn’t one to rush such a big reveal as “I’m actually an ancient being of chaos and bloodshed created for the sole purpose of one day helping bring about the end times”. To you, she was just Carmine, spunky reporter for a world-renown news organization. And as far as you knew, she had never touched a knife like this in her life.

“Ohh, it’s pretty.” She said as she walked over. “Wanna test it out?”

“What, in the apartment?” You asked.

“Eh, knives are just big darts.” She said as she scoped out the room. “You still have that old gym mat you don’t use, right? With the sun on it? It’ll make a good target.”

“I totally use it.” You protested as she gave you a look. A “don’t lie to me, I know the truth” kinda look. You huffed. “..Yes I still have it.”

“Go get it and i’ll clear some space for you.” War said as you set down the dagger and went to your junk room.

When you emerged about 5 minutes later, covered in a thin layer of dust and carrying a bulky, unused gym mat, you were slightly surprised how quick War was at cleaning. Little miracles never really hurt, did they?

“Ok set it up right here-“ War helped you move the now-opened mat up against the wall and secure it. “That should keep the wall from getting fucked up.”

“Thanks hon.” You said as you got your dagger back and looked at it. “Step back, this is super dangerous.”

“I’m steppin.” War chuckled a bit as she moved back and watched you throw the knife. It landed in the mat, snuggly placed near the outer edges of the sun. “Nice aim.”

“Oh that’s so much fun!” You said gleefully as you went and pulled it free.

“Mind if I have a go at it?” War asked as you came back over.

“Yeah, of course. Want me to show you?” You handed her the knife.

“Sure babe.” She said. Really, she knew more about weaponry than you ever would, especially things like blades. Knife throwing was a piece of cake, but she wanted to humor you.

War lined up with the mat and you took her dominant arm in your hands, motioning it to throw.

“You gotta keep your balance and throw like you’d throw a baseball.” You said as you demonstrated for her, incorrectly might I add. “And don’t second guess. When you throw it, just let it fully go.”

“Ok, I got you.” War said as she looked at the smiling sun mat and intended to hit it right in the middle of it’s cartoon sunglasses. She arched her arm back behind her head before releasing forward, sending the blade flying. It hit right on the mark, but only because she actually knew what she was doing. Whoever had taught you clearly needed their license revoked, because they weren’t teaching proper technique.

“Woah! Bullseye!” You cheered. “Carm, that was great!”

“It’s nothin.”

“Nothing?” You repeat. “Carmine you hit it on your first try! I couldn’t even do that after three lessons.”

“Wonder if it’s just beginners luck?” War said, knowing for a fact it wasn’t. She got the knife back from its spot and tossed it in the air with a spin, catching the handle. The sight of which made your heart skip a beat. “Let’s see..”

She threw it again, it hitting another bullseye. And again, and again, and again! At this point she was just showing off. Which, she was fine with. You clearly were enjoying the show.

“You’re messing with me, aren’t you?” You asked. “You’ve done this before.”

“Yeah, you could say I have.” She said. “Want me to teach you a trick to always hit it in the center?”

“Show me.” She placed the dagger in your hand and lead it back as you did for her.

“Imagine the target as head of your worst enemy.” She said. “Take all the pent up anger towards them. And hit it.” For War, that could’ve been a number of people. A lot of Romans had gotten on her nerves back in the day.

You took a deep breath and tried as she instructed.

Bam! Right on target.

“See? I knew you could do it.” War chuckled as you looked so excited, kissing your forehead.

“Thanks, Carm.” You said, looking at her with a glitter in your eye.

Later on, when you finally learn the truth, that day’s events will play back in your head, and a lot of things will make a lot more sense.


End file.
